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A Soldiers Cry

I find myself in an interesting position sometimes. At the moment, I’m in a mentoring position in Ministry - I’m the mentee. I’ve been asked by several congregations at an earlier time to step in and be the Minister of a congregation within the brotherhood. It crossed my mind back then… and I never moved on it. I served once as an Interim but that was only got a short time. I was in school and was well aware that I needed more experience before stepping into that realm. However, I was aware of my gifts and talents:
-I’m skilled when it comes to teaching & preaching the Word
-I’m skilled at training others
-I’m skilled as a leader
-I’m skilled at developing leaders
-I’m skilled as a coach
-I’m skilled as an (unlicensed) counselor

While my experiences in life have taught me a great deal that I can use for the betterment of the Kingdom, I’m skilled at recognizing that I don’t know it all I need to experience more. I also know that with an abundant amount of mentoring, it’s still a different animal when you are put in the driver’s seat - again from experience. At one point, I was offered a congregation and they were looking. Honestly, I was scared to take the position because I felt it was a dead end. One of my mentors even asked me why I didn’t take it. When I told him I didn’t think I’d be able to accomplish anything, he looked at me and said that he DEFINITELY would be able to accomplish MUCH. His statement intimidated me plus he also planted the congregation he heralds for and has grown it.

BUT NOW, I feel different. I’ve grown quite a bit in the Word, in life, in leadership, in counsel and especially in patience. I really rely on God as my Sovereign. There is no other option. Before now, I did but I think it was more surface than rooted. I’m comforted by His instruction. It hadr caused me to DILIGENTLY seek His Righteousness. With all of that being said, my heart is heavy…

There are many congregations that I see that are close to me, in heart & in geography, that are in need. Some desperately. Many of them have shared their story with me. I’ve preached there or I’ve sung there or I’ve stopped through there and I’ve heard the story.

It hurts me. It angers me. It downright pisses me off. It saddens me. It brings me to tears… And then I get a feeling…

I have the urge to step up and apply for the position. I’m not fearful. I trust in God, who is my refuge. I know He’s my source, my strength, my power, and my supplier. I know we’d be able to accomplish many great things as long as we keep God in the forefront.

But I recognize almost immediately that while the Lord is all those things to me, He’s also all those things to them. Jesus said the gates of Hell shall not prevail against His Church so what are a few frustrating and sad times? NOTHING to the Lord. Understanding that, I fall back and get back in line trusting that God has things completely under control.

I am a Christian soldier… heavy hearted & tearful for my brethren.

But God makes all things (sufferings) work together for good to all them that are called according to His purpose.

AMEN

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  • #church of Christ #minister #I want to be a minister so bad #preaching #I want my own congregation #suffering #Christian soldier
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